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It’s February, so what better time to write about love, as our thoughts turn to romance and Valentine’s Day.

 “Love is the substance of all life. Everything is connected in love, absolutely everything.”

~ Julia Cameron

When I first decided to write this, a voice in my head (come on, you know you have those voices, too) said, “What do you know about love?  You aren’t even in a relationship!”

Don’t you just love those critical voices?

And it is true.  I am not currently in a relationship.  But I have certainly learned a lot from all my previous relationships.  And mostly, a lot about myself.  I live with no regrets and look at past “failures” as life lessons.  Of course, there is pain and healing to be done.  We need to allow ourselves to grieve.   I find my grief is generally the loss of what could have been.  What the future may have held for us.

So if the sight of all those hearts and flowers are making you sad or melancholy, become your own Valentine.  Do something special for yourself this Valentine’s Day.

In Poetry of Self-Compassion, David Whyte shares some great poems by Mary Oliver and this one by Derek Walcott.

Love After Love

The time will come

when, with elation

you will greet yourself arriving

at your own door, in your own mirror

and each will smile at the other’s welcome,

and say, sit here. Eat.

You will love again the stranger who was your self.

Give wine. Give bread. Give back your heart

to itself, to the stranger who has loved you

all your life, whom you ignored

for another, who knows you by heart.

Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

the photographs, the desperate notes,

peel your own image from the mirror.

Sit. Feast on your life.

So, this Valentine’s Day whether you are single or in a relationship, I encourage you to sit and feast on your life.

If you are single and interested in learning how to feel safe to love again, or are in a relationship and want  to learn strategies to make your love last, here is a link to my friend, Gary Salyer’s workshop on February 23rd & 24th.

 Here’s another blog post to inspire you:-

What will you do for yourself this Valentine’s Day?

Please share your thoughts and ideas below.

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